In a shocking turn of events, JD Vance, the author turned Senate candidate, has made some bold claims regarding the recent US strikes on Iran’s nuclear program. According to Vance, the strikes were so “precise” and “surgical” that they have set back the Iranian nuclear program “substantially.”
In an exclusive interview with our esteemed publication, Vance stated, “These strikes were a game-changer. We hit them right where it hurts and now their nuclear program is in shambles. I mean, I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I think I may have just saved the world from a nuclear apocalypse.”
When asked about the specifics of the strikes, Vance replied, “Oh, you know, just a little bomb here, a little bomb there. Nothing too fancy. Just your run-of-the-mill precision bombing operation. No big deal.”
However, not everyone is convinced by Vance’s claims. One anonymous source within the intelligence community, who we will call Bob Smith for legal reasons, told us, “JD Vance is full of it. These strikes may have caused some damage, but to say that they have ‘substantially’ set back the Iranian nuclear program is just plain ridiculous. The program is still very much intact.”
But Vance remains undeterred by the naysayers. He told us, “Look, I may not have any experience in foreign policy or military strategy, but I did write a book about growing up in Ohio, so I think I know what I’m talking about. Trust me, these strikes were a game-changer.”
Whether or not Vance’s claims hold any weight remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure – the world will be watching closely to see how the situation unfolds. And who knows, maybe JD Vance will be the hero we never knew we needed. Or maybe he’ll just go back to writing books. Only time will tell.
