In a shocking turn of events, Israeli President Herzog has come out to reassure the world that Israel is “not dragging” the US into a war with Iran. This statement comes as a relief to many who were starting to worry that the two countries were on the brink of yet another conflict in the Middle East.
President Herzog held a press conference earlier today to address the rumors swirling around about Israel’s intentions towards Iran. In a surprising twist, he started off by saying, “I know we have a reputation for being a little trigger-happy, but I promise you, we’re not trying to start World War III here.”
When asked about the recent escalation of tensions between Israel and Iran, President Herzog replied, “Oh, that? That’s just a little misunderstanding. You know how it is, sometimes things get lost in translation. We were just trying to schedule a friendly game of poker, and next thing you know, people are talking about missiles and airstrikes. It’s all just a big mix-up, really.”
In a further attempt to diffuse the situation, President Herzog even went so far as to invite Iranian President Hassan Rouhani to a karaoke night in Tel Aviv. “I hear he’s got a killer rendition of ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston,” Herzog quipped. “Maybe we can settle our differences over a few duets.”
The US government has yet to comment on President Herzog’s statements, but sources close to the White House have reported that President Biden was seen breathing a sigh of relief upon hearing the news. “Phew, that’s a weight off my shoulders,” Biden reportedly said. “I was starting to think I’d have to dust off my old army boots for a minute there.”
As tensions continue to simmer in the Middle East, one thing is for sure: Israeli President Herzog is doing his best to keep things light and breezy. Let’s just hope he doesn’t accidentally schedule a game of paintball with Iran next.
