In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Iranian sleeper cells may be targeting opponents on Canadian soil. Yes, you heard that right – the Great White North is apparently not safe from the sneaky tactics of our Persian friends.
According to unnamed sources (who may or may not be imaginary), these sleeper cells have been lying in wait, ready to pounce on anyone who dares to speak out against the regime. One such source, who goes by the name of “Deep Fried Maple Syrup,” had this to say: “I was just minding my own business, enjoying some poutine, when all of a sudden, I felt a strange presence behind me. I turned around and there they were – a group of Iranians, with their kebabs and their hookahs, ready to take me down.”
But fear not, dear readers, for our Canadian heroes are not backing down without a fight. The Canadian government has reportedly launched a top-secret mission to uncover these sleeper cells and put a stop to their dastardly plans. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, in a statement that may or may not have actually happened, said, “We will not stand idly by as our citizens are threatened by these nefarious forces. We will hunt them down, wherever they may be hiding – even if it means going to the ends of the earth, or at least to the nearest Tim Hortons.”
In the meantime, citizens are advised to stay vigilant and report any suspicious activity to the authorities. And if you happen to come across a group of Iranians enjoying a nice picnic in the park, don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation – you never know, they might just be harmless tourists looking for some good Canadian hospitality.
So there you have it, folks. Iranian sleeper cells may be lurking in the shadows, but rest assured that the good people of Canada are ready to defend their homeland – one hockey game and one apology at a time. Stay safe out there, and remember: keep your poutine close and your moose closer.
