In a shocking turn of events, Iran has retaliated against the United States by launching a missile attack on a US military base in Qatar. The Pentagon has reported that there were no casualties, but plenty of confusion as soldiers scrambled to find cover in the sand dunes.
General Mark “Boom Boom” Johnson, head of US Central Command, was caught off guard by the attack. “I was just about to sit down for my afternoon tea when all of a sudden, missiles started raining down on us like a monsoon in the desert,” he said, wiping sand out of his mustache.
The Iranian government has claimed responsibility for the attack, citing the recent tensions between the two countries. President Hassan “Rocket Man” Ahmadinejad issued a statement saying, “We will not stand idly by while the US threatens our sovereignty. This is just a taste of what we are capable of.”
Meanwhile, President Joe “Sleepy” Biden was reportedly napping in the Oval Office when he was awoken by the news. His response? “I’m gonna need a bigger cup of coffee for this one.”
In a rare moment of unity, politicians from both sides of the aisle have come together to condemn the attack. Senator Sarah “Sassy” Sanders said, “This is a blatant act of aggression that cannot go unpunished. We must stand strong against the tyranny of Iran.”
As tensions continue to escalate, the world is left wondering what will happen next. Will there be more missile attacks? Will the US retaliate in kind? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure – the sand in Qatar is definitely not as soft as it looks.
