In a shocking turn of events, ICE has once again proven that they have absolutely no chill when it comes to their immigration enforcement tactics. This time, they have managed to outdo themselves by detaining the wife of a Marine Corps veteran who was still breastfeeding their baby. Talk about hitting a new low, ICE.
The veteran, John Smith, was outraged when he received a call from his wife, Jane Smith, informing him that she had been detained by ICE while she was out grocery shopping with their newborn baby. According to ICE officials, Jane was targeted for deportation due to a minor immigration violation that occurred years ago.
When reached for comment, ICE spokesperson, Karen McImmigration, defended the agency’s actions by stating, “We have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to immigration violations, no matter the circumstances. We don’t care if you’re a veteran, a nursing mother, or even a unicorn – if you’re in violation of our immigration laws, you’re fair game.”
John Smith, however, was not about to take this lying down. In a fiery statement to the press, he declared, “This is an absolute travesty! My wife is not a criminal, she’s a mother trying to feed our baby. ICE should be ashamed of themselves for tearing our family apart.”
In response to the uproar, ICE has released a statement saying that they will be releasing Jane Smith on humanitarian grounds. However, they have made it clear that this does not change their stance on immigration enforcement.
As for Jane Smith, she is just relieved to be reunited with her family. In a tearful reunion with her husband and baby, she whispered, “I never want to be separated from you again. Let’s never go grocery shopping without proper documentation ever again.”
And so, another day, another absurdity in the world of immigration enforcement. Stay tuned for more ridiculousness from ICE, because apparently, they have an endless supply of it.
