In a shocking turn of events, ICE has recently conducted a series of arrests targeting Iranian nationals across the US, citing concerns of sleeper cells within the community. According to ICE officials, dozens of Iranian nationals have been detained in a coordinated effort to root out potential threats to national security.
One ICE agent, who wished to remain anonymous, stated, “We have reason to believe that there may be Iranian sleeper cells operating within the US, and we are taking swift action to neutralize any potential threats.” When asked about the evidence supporting these claims, the agent responded, “Well, you see, we found some suspicious kebabs in one of the detainee’s fridges. That’s a clear sign of terrorist activity, if you ask me.”
The arrests have sparked outrage within the Iranian community, with many questioning the validity of ICE’s claims. One detainee, who goes by the name of Ali Baba, exclaimed, “I was just minding my own business, running my falafel stand, when ICE swooped in and arrested me. This is ridiculous! I’m just a humble falafel salesman, not a terrorist!”
In response to the backlash, ICE has doubled down on their efforts, vowing to continue their crackdown on Iranian nationals. Acting director of ICE, Jack Frost, stated, “We will not rest until every last Iranian sleeper cell is dismantled. We will not let our guard down, even if it means arresting every person with a Persian rug in their living room.”
As the situation unfolds, tensions are running high within the Iranian community, with many fearing for their safety and rights. However, amidst the chaos and confusion, one thing is certain – ICE is not backing down in their mission to protect the country from potential threats, real or imagined.
So, dear readers, stay tuned for more updates on this developing story. And remember, if you see something suspicious, like a kebab or a Persian rug, don’t hesitate to report it to ICE. Your falafel stand may depend on it.