In a shocking turn of events, ICE officials have arrested over 100 Iranian nationals across the US amid concerns of sleeper cells operating within the country. The arrests have left many scratching their heads and wondering if the US is turning into a real-life episode of Homeland.
One ICE official, who wished to remain anonymous, stated, “We received intelligence that there may be Iranian sleeper cells hiding in plain sight within our borders. We had to act fast to ensure the safety of the American people.” When asked about the evidence supporting these claims, the official simply replied, “Trust us, we know what we’re doing.”
Among those arrested was a man named Ali Khan, who was found hiding in a local kabob shop in New York City. When questioned about his alleged ties to a sleeper cell, Khan responded, “I was just trying to enjoy some delicious kebabs, I swear! This is all a big misunderstanding.” Sure, Ali, we believe you.
Another Iranian national, Maryam Hosseini, was apprehended while shopping for Persian rugs in Los Angeles. When asked about her involvement in any nefarious activities, Hosseini exclaimed, “I just wanted to decorate my home in style! I had no idea I was part of a sleeper cell plot.” Right, Maryam, because everyone knows that Persian rugs are the key to world domination.
As news of the arrests spread, social media exploded with reactions ranging from disbelief to outrage. One Twitter user wrote, “I can’t believe ICE is rounding up Iranians like this. What’s next, a ban on hummus?” While another user joked, “I guess it’s time to start hoarding saffron and pomegranate juice.”
While the situation may seem dire, rest assured that ICE is on the case, protecting us from the threat of rogue kebab shops and Persian rug enthusiasts. So next time you see someone with a suspiciously large collection of baklava, remember to report them to the authorities. The fate of our nation may depend on it.
