WASHINGTON D.C. – As the Senate continues to trudge along in their sleepless state, House leaders are eagerly eyeing a Wednesday vote on President Trump’s much-touted ‘big, beautiful bill’. The bill, which promises to be the greatest piece of legislation ever seen, is causing quite the stir in the capital.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, known for her sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude, had this to say about the bill: “Oh, I can’t wait to see this ‘big, beautiful bill’. I’m sure it’s just as amazing as Trump says it is. Maybe it’ll even have a section on how to properly do your hair.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who is reportedly surviving on nothing but coffee and sheer determination, is feeling the pressure as the vote looms closer. When asked for comment, McConnell simply muttered, “I just want to sleep.”
In a shocking turn of events, Vice President Mike Pence was seen frantically drafting his own version of the bill, which he dubbed the ‘Huge and Tremendous Act’. When questioned about the similarities to Trump’s bill, Pence replied, “Oh, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I came up with this all on my own.”
Meanwhile, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is feeling optimistic about the vote. “I have full confidence that this bill is going to be a game-changer. It’s going to be so big and beautiful, it’ll make your head spin,” McCarthy declared, a gleam in his eye.
As the tension mounts in the capital, one thing is for certain – Wednesday’s vote on Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill’ is sure to be one for the history books. Will it live up to the hype? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure – it’s going to be one heck of a ride.
