In a move that has left many scratching their heads, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced plans to build another immigration detention center in the Sunshine State. Yes, you heard that right. Because apparently, the existing facilities just aren’t cutting it for Governor DeSantis and his cronies.
When asked about the reasoning behind this decision, DeSantis responded with his trademark eloquence, saying, “Well, you see, we just can’t have all these immigrants running around willy-nilly. We need to keep them locked up somewhere, preferably in a nice, cozy detention center.”
Of course, not everyone is thrilled about this new development. Local activist Maria Gonzalez expressed her outrage, stating, “This is outrageous! We don’t need another detention center in Florida. We need affordable housing, healthcare, and education for all. But I guess those things aren’t as important as locking up immigrants, huh?”
But DeSantis remains undeterred, insisting that the new detention center will be a state-of-the-art facility that will provide a comfortable and welcoming environment for all its residents. When pressed for details on what exactly that means, DeSantis simply shrugged and said, “I don’t know, maybe some throw pillows and a mini-fridge or something.”
In response to the backlash, DeSantis’s spokesperson, Bob Smitherson, issued a statement saying, “Governor DeSantis is committed to upholding the rule of law and protecting our borders. And if that means building more detention centers, then so be it. Besides, it’s not like we have anything better to spend our money on, right?”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: Florida may soon be home to yet another immigration detention center. And if Governor DeSantis has his way, it will be the most luxurious detention center in the country. Because nothing says welcome to America like being locked up in a fancy prison.
