WASHINGTON D.C. – The final day of Supreme Court decisions brought a wave of history-making rulings today, leaving Americans both shocked and entertained by the outcomes. From groundbreaking decisions on LGBTQ rights to unexpected rulings on fast food lawsuits, the SCOTUS did not disappoint.
In a landmark case, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of LGBTQ rights, declaring that discrimination based on sexual orientation is unconstitutional. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, known for her fierce advocacy for equality, delivered a powerful statement: “Love is love, and it’s about time the law caught up with that reality.”
But the surprises didn’t stop there. In a bizarre turn of events, the Supreme Court also ruled in favor of a lawsuit brought against a popular fast food chain for causing addiction to their delicious fries. Chief Justice John Roberts joked, “I can’t resist those golden, crispy fries myself, but that doesn’t mean we can hold McDonald’s accountable for our lack of self-control.”
In another unexpected ruling, the Supreme Court decided to rename the United States to “Pizzaland” in honor of everyone’s favorite food. Justice Neil Gorsuch quipped, “Pizza has always been a unifying force in this country, so why not just embrace it fully?”
And in a final twist, the Supreme Court ruled that all future Supreme Court decisions will be decided by a game of rock-paper-scissors. Justice Clarence Thomas, known for his silence during court proceedings, simply held up a rock and a pair of scissors, signaling his approval of the new system.
Overall, the final day of SCOTUS decisions was a rollercoaster of emotions and laughter. Americans can rest easy knowing that justice has been served, and maybe a side of fries too.
