In a bizarre turn of events, Federal prosecutors have informed a judge that they plan to deport Kilmar Abrego Garcia to a third country after his detention. Yes, you heard that right – not just any country, but a THIRD country. Because, you know, two countries just weren’t enough for this guy.
When asked about the decision, lead prosecutor Amanda Hilarious said, “We just can’t risk having Kilmar roaming free in the US. He’s like a real-life Carmen Sandiego, except instead of stealing monuments, he’s just really bad at paying his parking tickets.”
Garcia’s lawyer, Bob McSleazy, tried to argue that his client should be allowed to stay in the country, but the prosecutors weren’t having it. “We’ve already tried sending him back to his home country, but they refused to take him. Even they couldn’t handle his shenanigans,” said Hilarious.
But the real kicker came when Garcia himself spoke out about the situation. In a statement released through his lawyer, he said, “I am deeply saddened by this decision. I was really looking forward to exploring my options in a third country. Maybe I’ll finally find a place where people appreciate my unique talent for juggling flaming marshmallows.”
As news of Garcia’s impending deportation spread, social media was abuzz with jokes and memes about his predicament. One user tweeted, “Breaking News: Kilmar Abrego Garcia to be the first person in history to be deported to Narnia. Aslan couldn’t be reached for comment.”
While the situation may seem like something out of a comedy sketch, it serves as a reminder that even in the world of law enforcement, there’s always room for a little bit of absurdity. And hey, who knows – maybe Garcia will finally find his true calling in that mysterious third country. Good luck, Kilmar!
