In a shocking turn of events, a federal judge has blocked President Trump’s latest attempt to keep Harvard University from hosting foreign students on their campus. The ruling comes after Trump issued an executive order stating that any university receiving federal funding must deny entry to students from certain countries.
The decision has left Trump fuming, with sources close to the President reporting that he is “seeing red” over the ruling. In a statement to the press, Trump declared, “This is a tremendous injustice. I won the popular vote, I won the electoral college, and now Harvard is hosting students from China? It’s a disgrace!”
However, Harvard President, Dr. Samantha Smith, has brushed off Trump’s complaints, stating, “We believe in diversity and inclusion here at Harvard. We welcome students from all walks of life, regardless of their country of origin. Plus, our cafeteria serves the best General Tso’s chicken on the East Coast.”
The ruling has sparked outrage among Trump supporters, with one protester shouting outside the courthouse, “This is an attack on our sovereignty! We can’t let those foreign students come here and take our jobs as professional tweet storm writers!”
But not everyone is upset about the decision. One anonymous Harvard student, who we’ll call John Doe, commented, “I think it’s hilarious that Trump is so obsessed with Harvard. Like, dude, go focus on fixing the economy or something. Leave us and our foreign friends alone.”
As the legal battle rages on, it seems that Harvard will continue to welcome students from around the world with open arms. And who knows, maybe Trump will finally take up Harvard’s offer to enroll in their Executive Education program on civility and diplomacy. After all, it couldn’t hurt!
In the meantime, we can all sit back and enjoy the show as Trump and Harvard go head to head in this epic battle of wits and wills. Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, only here at the most trusted name in satire news!
