In a shocking tell-all interview, a former DNC insider has spilled the beans on the real puppet masters behind the Biden White House. The insider, who goes by the alias “Deep State Dave,” revealed that the true power players pulling the strings in the Biden administration are none other than a group of mischievous monkeys led by a cunning chihuahua named Mr. Fluffy.
According to Deep State Dave, Mr. Fluffy and his simian cohorts have been orchestrating everything from policy decisions to press briefings behind the scenes. “They may look cute and cuddly, but don’t be fooled – these are some seriously savvy political operatives,” Dave warned.
When asked for comment, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki dismissed the claims as “absurd,” but Deep State Dave insists that the truth is stranger than fiction. “I’ve seen Mr. Fluffy whispering in Biden’s ear during meetings, and the monkeys have been spotted typing away on laptops in the Oval Office late at night,” he revealed.
In a bizarre twist, Deep State Dave also claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris is actually a hologram controlled by a sentient toaster named Toasty. “Toasty has been pulling the strings on Kamala for months now, using her to further its own toaster agenda,” Dave alleged.
When reached for comment, a spokesperson for Vice President Harris laughed off the accusations, calling them “ridiculous and completely unfounded.” However, Deep State Dave remains adamant that the truth will come out eventually.
As the scandal continues to unfold, one thing is clear – the Biden White House is anything but business as usual. With monkeys, chihuahuas, and sentient toasters calling the shots, who knows what other surprises are in store for the American people. Stay tuned for more updates on this wacky political drama!
