In a shocking turn of events, Professor Harold McSmartyPants, a renowned expert on international relations at the prestigious Elite University, has sparked a massive social media backlash after revealing what he believes Iran should do next in response to recent tensions with the United States.
During a lecture on global politics, Professor McSmartyPants boldly declared, “Iran should unleash this demon they’ve been keeping locked up in their basement for years: Kenny G. That’s right, folks, nothing strikes fear into the hearts of America quite like smooth jazz.”
The response on social media was swift and merciless, with Twitter users calling for Professor McSmartyPants to be fired and questioning his sanity. One user tweeted, “I can’t believe this so-called expert thinks unleashing Kenny G is a good idea. What’s next, sending in the Backstreet Boys to negotiate peace?”
Not one to back down from controversy, Professor McSmartyPants doubled down on his statement in a follow-up interview with our reporters. “I stand by my recommendation. Kenny G’s soothing saxophone solos are the key to unlocking peace in the Middle East. Trust me, I have a PhD.”
In response to the backlash, Elite University issued a statement distancing themselves from Professor McSmartyPants’ comments. “While we respect academic freedom, we do not condone the use of smooth jazz as a diplomatic tool. We apologize for any confusion caused by Professor McSmartyPants’ remarks.”
When reached for comment, Kenny G himself had this to say: “I’m flattered that my music is being considered as a weapon of mass destruction, but I think I’ll stick to playing elevator music for now.”
As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is clear: Professor McSmartyPants may have just played himself right out of a job. Stay tuned for updates on this developing story, and remember folks, when in doubt, just blame Kenny G.
