In a bold move that has left the Trump administration shaking in its boots, a group of EPA employees have put their names to a ‘declaration of dissent’ over the agency’s recent moves under the current administration. The document, dubbed the ‘Declaration of Environmental Defiance’, outlines the employees’ concerns over the EPA’s apparent disregard for environmental protection and its cozy relationship with big business.
One EPA employee, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, stated, “We can’t stand idly by while our planet is being destroyed for profit. It’s time to take a stand and fight back against the forces of greed and ignorance that are running our agency into the ground.”
Another employee, going by the pseudonym ‘Captain Planet’, had this to say about the current state of affairs at the EPA: “It’s like we’re living in an alternate reality where pollution is good for you and clean air and water are for losers. Well, I for one am not going to sit back and let Mother Earth be trampled on by a bunch of corporate stooges.”
The ‘Declaration of Environmental Defiance’ has already gained widespread support within the EPA, with over 300 employees signing on to the document. One employee, going by the name of ‘Green Queen’, stated, “We’re not just a bunch of pencil-pushers and tree-huggers. We’re warriors for the planet, and we won’t stop fighting until the EPA is back on track and doing its job to protect the environment.”
In response to the employees’ declaration, EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler issued a statement saying, “We respect the right of our employees to express their opinions, but ultimately, the decisions of the agency are made by me and my team. We will continue to prioritize the interests of big business over the environment, because that’s just how we roll.”
Despite the administration’s dismissive attitude, the employees behind the ‘Declaration of Environmental Defiance’ show no sign of backing down. As one employee put it, “We may be just a small group of EPA workers, but when it comes to saving the planet, we’re a force to be reckoned with. Watch out, Trump, we’re coming for you and your polluting pals!”
