In a shocking turn of events, clerk Kim Davis, infamous for denying same-sex marriage licenses in 2015, is still fighting the Supreme Court’s ruling to this day. Davis, who became a household name for her staunch opposition to marriage equality, has now become a symbol of resistance against progress and common sense.
In an exclusive interview with our reporters, Davis expressed her unwavering dedication to her cause, saying, “I will not rest until every same-sex couple is denied their right to marry in this great country of ours. Love is love, but not on my watch!”
Davis’s persistence has baffled legal experts and activists alike, with many questioning her motives and sanity. When asked about her reasoning behind her actions, Davis responded, “I’m just following the Bible’s teachings. It clearly states that marriage should be between one man and one woman…or maybe one man and multiple wives, but definitely not two men or two women. That’s just plain sinful!”
Despite facing numerous legal challenges and backlash from the LGBTQ+ community, Davis remains undeterred in her mission to turn back the clock on marriage equality. When asked about the Supreme Court’s ruling on the matter, Davis simply shrugged and said, “Who needs the Supreme Court when you have the power of ignorance and bigotry on your side?”
In a surprising twist, Davis has found an unlikely ally in the form of a self-proclaimed time traveler from the year 3021, who goes by the name of Bob Smith. Smith, who claims to have come back in time to prevent the downfall of traditional marriage, stated, “Kim Davis is a hero in the future. She’s the reason why we no longer have flying cars, robot butlers, or same-sex marriage. We owe her a debt of gratitude for keeping us stuck in the dark ages.”
As the legal battle rages on, one thing is clear: Kim Davis is determined to go down in history as the clerk who stood up against progress and equality. Whether she succeeds or not remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain – she’s definitely making headlines in the most absurd way possible.
