The border crisis under Biden is continuing to unravel, revealing shocking abuse of migrant children placed with unvetted sponsors. The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has been under fire for their negligence in ensuring the safety of these vulnerable children.
One anonymous source within DHS, who we will call Agent Smith for anonymity, shared some alarming details with us. “We were so overwhelmed with the influx of migrant children that we just started handing them off to anyone who claimed to be a sponsor. We didn’t have time to properly vet them, and now we’re seeing the consequences of that decision.”
One such case involves a child who was placed with a sponsor named Joe Schmoe. It turns out, Joe Schmoe was actually a professional clown who used the child as a prop in his performances. When asked for a comment, Joe Schmoe hilariously responded, “I thought the kid was just really good at miming! Who knew he was actually trying to signal for help?”
Another shocking incident involved a child who was placed with a sponsor named Karen Karenson. It was later discovered that Karen Karenson was actually a cat lady with 50 feline companions. When questioned about the child’s well-being, Karen exclaimed, “Oh, I thought the kid was just being moody like my cats! Turns out, he’s actually allergic to cat hair. Whoops!”
The incompetence within DHS has led to these absurd and downright dangerous situations for migrant children. It’s clear that urgent action needs to be taken to ensure the safety and well-being of these vulnerable individuals.
In response to the growing outcry, President Biden released a statement saying, “We are committed to rectifying this situation and ensuring that every child is placed in a safe and loving environment. And if anyone needs a sponsor, I have a spare room in the White House!”
As the border crisis continues to unfold, one thing is certain – the comedy of errors within DHS is no laughing matter. Let’s hope that real change is on the horizon for these innocent children caught in the crossfire of bureaucracy and incompetence.
