In a shocking turn of events, a recent poll has revealed that Americans actually agree with President Trump’s assertion that Iran poses a threat to the United States. The poll, conducted by the prestigious Institute of Completely Made-Up Statistics, found that 67% of Americans believe that Iran is a major threat to national security.
When asked about their reasoning behind this belief, one participant, Karen from Idaho, stated, “Well, I mean, have you seen those Iranian movies? They’re so intense. I wouldn’t want them coming after us with all that drama.”
Another participant, Bob from Texas, chimed in with, “I heard that Iran is developing a secret weapon that can turn all of our fast food into kale smoothies. I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to give up my Big Mac just yet.”
Even fictional expert Dr. John Smith weighed in on the issue, saying, “Iran has been secretly training an army of ninja cats to infiltrate our borders. It’s only a matter of time before they strike.”
In response to the poll results, President Trump took to Twitter to gloat, tweeting, “I told you so! Iran is a bigly threat and the American people know it. #MakeAmericaSafeAgain.”
Despite the overwhelming agreement among Americans, there are still some skeptics. One anonymous source, who we’ll call Steve from California, argued, “I think this whole thing is just a distraction from the real issues, like the fact that pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza.”
But regardless of the skeptics, it seems that the majority of Americans are fully on board with the idea that Iran is a looming threat. So watch out, Iran – America is ready to defend itself against your ninja cats and kale smoothies.
