In a bizarre turn of events, an alleged cannibal attempted to eat himself during a deportation flight, causing chaos and confusion among passengers and crew members. South Dakota Governor, Kristi Noem, shared the shocking details in a press conference, revealing that the man, identified as John Smith, had a sudden craving for human flesh mid-flight.
According to eyewitness accounts, Smith began gnawing on his own arm, much to the horror of those around him. Flight attendant, Karen Johnson, recalled the harrowing experience, stating, “I couldn’t believe my eyes! He was literally trying to eat himself! It was like something out of a horror movie.”
Passengers on the flight were understandably terrified, with one anonymous traveler remarking, “I thought I had seen it all, but this takes the cake. I’ll never look at a flight meal the same way again.”
Authorities were forced to intervene and restrain Smith, who continued to resist their efforts. In a desperate attempt to stop him from consuming himself, they sedated him and managed to subdue him for the remainder of the flight.
When asked about the incident, Governor Noem expressed her disbelief, stating, “I have never seen anything like this in all my years in office. It just goes to show that you never know what you’re going to encounter in this line of work.”
In a surprising twist, Smith later claimed that he was not actually a cannibal, but rather a victim of a bizarre prank gone wrong. In a statement to reporters, he declared, “I swear, I was just trying to eat a snack and somehow I ended up trying to eat myself. It was a total misunderstanding!”
Despite his claims, authorities are not taking any chances and have placed Smith under psychiatric evaluation. As for the passengers and crew members who witnessed the bizarre incident, they are just grateful to have landed safely and escaped unscathed.
In the world of satire news, truth is often stranger than fiction, and this story is certainly no exception. Who knows what other bizarre headlines await us in the future? Just remember, always be prepared for the unexpected, especially when flying with alleged cannibals!
