**Liam Hendriks, Red Sox Reliever and Cancer Survivor, Condemns ‘Vile’ Death Threats from Fans: “I’m Just Trying to Save Games, Not Your Fantasy Team!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the baseball world reeling, Liam Hendriks, the Red Sox’s star reliever and cancer survivor, has bravely stepped up to condemn the “vile” death threats he received from fans after a particularly rough outing. “I mean, come on, folks! I’m just trying to save games, not your fantasy team!” he exclaimed during a press conference that was attended by a surprisingly large number of inflatable bats.
Hendriks, who recently returned to the mound after battling cancer, took to social media to address the threats, stating, “I’ve faced down cancer, and now I have to deal with angry fans? What’s next, a death threat from my grandma for not calling her back?” He then added, “I’d like to see those keyboard warriors try to throw a 95 mph fastball while dodging a hot dog vendor!”
In a bizarre twist, the threats were reportedly sent by a group of fans who call themselves the “Fantasy Baseball Avengers.” Their leader, a self-proclaimed “statistical wizard” named Chad “The Spreadsheet” Thompson, defended their actions, saying, “We just wanted to motivate him! You know, like how they motivate racehorses with whips. Except we use Twitter.”
Hendriks, however, was unfazed. “Listen, I appreciate the passion, but if you want to threaten someone, how about the guy who keeps bringing back the nacho cheese that tastes like it’s been sitting in the sun since 1995?”
As the dust settles, Hendriks remains focused on his game, stating, “I’m just here to pitch and maybe start a podcast about how to deal with angry fans. Episode one: ‘How to Block Your Grandma on Social Media.’”
In the meantime, the Red Sox organization has issued a statement urging fans to channel their energy into more productive outlets, like knitting or starting a petition to bring back the classic “Dancing Hot Dog” mascot. Because if there’s one thing that can unite fans, it’s a shared love for questionable mascots and nachos that don’t taste like they’ve been marinating in regret.
