**Former Deputy Mayor of Public Safety Confesses to Los Angeles City Hall Bomb Threat Hoax: “I Just Wanted a Day Off!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the City of Angels scratching its collective head, former Deputy Mayor of Public Safety, Chuck “The Safety Net” McGee, has confessed to orchestrating a bomb threat hoax at Los Angeles City Hall. In a press conference that felt more like a stand-up routine, McGee explained, “I just wanted a day off! I thought, ‘What’s more effective than a bomb threat? A really good excuse!’”
The incident unfolded last Tuesday when a mysterious call was made to the LAPD, claiming that a bomb was hidden in the mayor’s office. Authorities quickly evacuated City Hall, only to discover that the only thing explosive was the smell of leftover burritos from Taco Tuesday.
“I knew it was a bad idea when I saw the burrito,” McGee admitted, chuckling nervously. “I thought, ‘If I can’t handle this, how can I handle a city full of potholes?’”
City officials were less than amused. Mayor Karen “No-Nonsense” Johnson stated, “We have enough problems without our Deputy Mayor trying to blow up his own job. Next time, just call in sick like the rest of us!”
In a bizarre twist, McGee claimed he was inspired by a “really intense episode of ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.’” He added, “I thought, ‘If they can do it, why can’t I?’ But I forgot that I’m not Mariska Hargitay.”
As the dust settles, McGee faces charges that could lead to a hefty fine and a lifetime ban from Taco Tuesday. “I just wanted to be a hero,” he lamented. “Now I’m the villain in my own sitcom. Can someone pass me a burrito?”
In the end, Los Angeles has learned a valuable lesson: if you want a day off, just fake a cold. It’s much less explosive!
