**White House Criticizes Democrats as ‘Radical and Out of Touch’ for Opposing Major Legislation**
In a stunning turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, the White House has officially labeled the Democratic Party as “radical and out of touch” for daring to oppose major legislation. This bold move comes after Democrats decided that, perhaps, they didn’t want to support a bill that would turn the entire country into a giant avocado toast farm.
Press Secretary Kayleigh McMuffin stated, “We’re just trying to make America guac again! But these Democrats, they’re so far left they might as well be in a yoga class in San Francisco.” She then proceeded to demonstrate a downward dog pose, which left reporters both confused and mildly impressed.
Senator Chuck Schumer, who was busy trying to find his glasses at the time, responded, “Out of touch? I just got a new smartphone! I can even send memes now!” He then accidentally sent a cat video to the entire Senate, which was met with mixed reviews.
Meanwhile, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was overheard saying, “If opposing this legislation makes us radical, then I guess I’ll just have to start wearing tie-dye and listening to the Grateful Dead.” She then proceeded to pull out a tambourine and lead an impromptu jam session in the Capitol building.
Political analyst and self-proclaimed “expert” on avocado toast, Barry Bananapants, weighed in, “This is just the beginning. Next, they’ll be calling us radical for wanting to put pineapple on pizza! What’s next, a bill to ban socks with sandals?”
As the political circus continues, one thing is clear: the only thing more radical than the Democrats’ opposition is the White House’s ability to turn every legislative debate into a comedy show. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Bill Turns,” where we’ll find out if anyone can actually agree on anything—besides the fact that guacamole is delicious.
