**Tragic Attack: Israeli Embassy Couple Killed in Washington Amid Long History of Targeted Violence**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the world scratching its head and wondering if they accidentally tuned into a particularly dark episode of “The Office,” an Israeli embassy couple was tragically killed in Washington. The couple, known for their love of hummus and their uncanny ability to argue about the best falafel in town, met their untimely demise in what officials are calling a “tragic case of mistaken identity.”
Eyewitnesses reported that the couple, identified as Shlomo and Miriam Katz, were simply enjoying a quiet evening of Netflix and diplomatic snacks when a rogue pigeon, apparently trained by a rival embassy, swooped in and caused chaos. “I thought it was just a regular pigeon,” said local resident Bob “The Bird Whisperer” Johnson. “But then it started squawking in Hebrew and I knew something was up.”
In a bizarre twist, the couple’s pet goldfish, named “Benny the Brave,” has been named the prime suspect. “He was always a little too quiet,” said Miriam’s sister, Rachel. “I always thought he was plotting something. I mean, have you seen how he stares at you?”
The Israeli ambassador, who was last seen trying to teach the local squirrels how to do the Macarena, expressed his condolences while also announcing a new initiative: “Operation Pigeon Patrol.” “We will not rest until every pigeon in Washington is accounted for,” he declared, while accidentally stepping on a squirrel’s tail.
As the investigation continues, the Katz family has requested that all future embassy events be held in a pigeon-free zone, preferably somewhere with a lot of cat statues. “We just want to honor their memory with a good laugh,” said Shlomo’s cousin, Yitzhak. “And maybe a little less violence. And definitely more hummus.”
In the end, the Katz couple may be gone, but their legacy of questionable culinary choices and a deep-seated fear of pigeons will live on forever.
