**Supreme Court Affirms Oklahoma Ruling, Religious Charter Schools Left Praying for a Miracle**
In a landmark decision that has left religious charter schools across Oklahoma clutching their rosaries and wondering if they should have invested in a better prayer plan, the Supreme Court has officially affirmed a ruling that deals a significant setback to these institutions. The ruling, which many are calling “the divine intervention no one asked for,” has left educators and students alike scrambling for alternative ways to incorporate their faith into the curriculum—like, say, teaching math through the lens of the Book of Numbers.
“Honestly, we thought we could just pray our way through this,” said Pastor Bob “The Mathlete” Johnson, head of the Holy Roller Academy. “But it turns out the Supreme Court doesn’t take kindly to our ‘God’s Plan’ math curriculum, which involves a lot of divine multiplication and zero accountability.”
The ruling has sparked a wave of creativity among religious educators. Sister Mary “The Science Whisperer” O’Malley announced plans to launch a new science class titled “Miracles and Measurements,” where students will learn how to measure the height of Moses’ staff and the weight of a locust plague. “It’s all about finding the right balance between faith and fractions,” she explained, while simultaneously trying to calculate how many loaves and fishes it would take to feed the entire school.
Meanwhile, the Oklahoma State Board of Education has been inundated with applications for new charter schools, including “The School of Hard Knocks and Holy Books” and “Heavenly Heights Academy,” which promises to teach students how to levitate their grades. “We’re just trying to keep the faith alive in education,” said board member Chuck “The Unholy” Thompson. “But if we can’t have prayer in schools, we might as well have a bake sale to fund our miracles.”
As the dust settles on this divine debacle, one thing is clear: the only thing more resilient than faith is the human spirit—and a good sense of humor. So, while religious charter schools may be down, they’re certainly not out. After all, if there’s one thing they’ve learned from this experience, it’s that when life gives you lemons, you can always turn them into holy lemonade.
