**Israeli Embassy Workers Killed Were About to Get Engaged, Says Ambassador: A Tragic Love Story Gone Awry**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the diplomatic community reeling, Israeli Ambassador to the United States, Gilad Erdan, announced that two embassy workers tragically killed in a freak accident were just days away from getting engaged. “It’s a real tragedy,” Erdan lamented, “They were about to take the plunge into a lifetime of love, and instead, they took a plunge into a pool of diplomatic paperwork. It’s just not fair!”
The two lovebirds, identified as Shlomo “The Heartthrob” Cohen and Miriam “The Matchmaker” Levy, were reportedly planning a romantic proposal involving a flash mob of dancing diplomats and a surprise appearance by Israeli pop sensation, Omer Adam. “I was going to sing ‘Shalom’ while they got engaged,” said Adam, who was left heartbroken by the news. “Now I guess I’ll just have to sing ‘Goodbye’ instead.”
Witnesses claim that the couple was last seen arguing over who would get the last piece of kugel at the embassy’s weekly potluck. “It was a classic case of love and kugel gone wrong,” said embassy intern, Rachel “The Kugel Queen” Schwartz. “I mean, who knew a potato dish could lead to such a tragic end?”
In a bizarre twist, the ambassador revealed that the couple had also been planning to adopt a cat named “Diplomacy.” “Now, we’re left with a cat-shaped hole in our hearts,” Erdan said, wiping away a tear. “And a very confused cat.”
As the embassy mourns the loss of its star-crossed lovers, plans for a memorial service are underway, featuring a buffet of kugel and a karaoke night dedicated to love songs. “We’ll make sure to include ‘I Will Always Love You’—but only if it’s sung by someone who can actually hit the high notes,” Erdan quipped.
In the end, the tragic tale of Shlomo and Miriam serves as a reminder that love can be as unpredictable as international relations—sometimes it ends in a proposal, and other times, it ends in a diplomatic incident involving kugel.
