**Baty’s 3 RBIs Lead Mets to 5-1 Victory Over Red Sox, Preventing Sweep: A Tale of Triumph and Tater Tots**
In a stunning turn of events that shocked absolutely no one, the New York Mets managed to avoid a sweep at the hands of the Boston Red Sox, thanks to a dazzling performance by rookie sensation Brett Baty, who racked up three RBIs and a lifetime supply of tater tots. The final score? A resounding 5-1, which is also the number of times Baty’s mom texted him during the game to remind him to wear clean socks.
Baty’s heroics came in the form of a three-run double that left Red Sox pitcher Chris Sale wondering if he had accidentally wandered into a Little League game. “I thought I was facing a bunch of kids,” Sale lamented, “but then I realized it was just Baty. I mean, who names their kid after a bat? What’s next, a player named Glove?”
Mets manager Buck Showalter was ecstatic after the game, declaring, “This victory is like finding a $20 bill in your winter coat! You thought it was gone forever, but here it is, and now you can buy a hot dog and a soda!” He then proceeded to high-five a hot dog vendor, who was later seen running for his life.
Meanwhile, Baty’s teammates celebrated by doing what any rational group of athletes would do: they formed a conga line around the dugout while chanting, “We’re not getting swept! We’re not getting swept!” This was met with confused looks from the Red Sox, who were still trying to figure out how to spell “conga.”
In a post-game interview, Baty humbly stated, “I just wanted to help the team. And also, I heard there would be free pizza in the clubhouse. I’m a sucker for pepperoni.” When asked about his future plans, he added, “I’m just trying to keep my socks clean and my batting average higher than my laundry pile.”
As the Mets bask in the glory of their hard-fought victory, fans are left wondering if this is the start of a miraculous comeback or just a brief intermission in the ongoing soap opera that is the 2023 Mets season. One thing is for sure: if Baty keeps this up, he might just earn himself a lifetime supply of tater tots—and a new nickname: “The Potato King.”
