**Protesters Burn Diplomas in Anti-Israel Demonstration at Columbia University Graduation: A Fiery Farewell to Academia**
In a stunning display of academic rebellion, a group of Columbia University graduates decided to take their diplomas and set them ablaze during the graduation ceremony, declaring it a “fiery protest” against Israel. The event, dubbed “Burning for Peace,” quickly became the hottest graduation party in town—literally.
“I thought we were just going to toss our caps in the air, but then someone suggested we toss our diplomas into the flames,” said sociology major and self-proclaimed firestarter, Jenna “Flame” Thompson. “I mean, what better way to symbolize our rejection of the establishment than by turning our hard-earned degrees into a bonfire? Plus, it’s a great way to keep warm in this chilly New York weather!”
As the flames danced higher, so did the spirits of the protesters. “I’ve never felt so liberated!” shouted history major and amateur pyromaniac, Dave “The Torch” Johnson. “I’m pretty sure my diploma was just a piece of paper anyway. Now it’s a piece of art!”
The event drew a crowd of onlookers, including a bewildered group of parents who were just hoping for a nice photo op. “I came to see my daughter graduate, not to witness a degree roast,” lamented Karen Smith, who was still clutching her camera. “I just wanted to capture the moment, not the smoke!”
In a surprising twist, the university’s administration announced that they would be offering a new major in “Protest Studies,” complete with a minor in “Creative Fire Arts.” “We believe in the power of expression,” said Dean of Students, Dr. Blaze McBurnface. “And what better way to express your discontent than with a good old-fashioned diploma bonfire?”
As the smoke cleared and the last embers faded, the graduates left with a sense of accomplishment, albeit a little singed. “I may not have a diploma anymore, but I have a story to tell,” said Jenna, as she posed for selfies in front of the charred remains of her academic achievements. “And that’s worth more than any degree!”
So, if you’re looking for a new way to celebrate your graduation, take a page from Columbia’s playbook: why toss your cap when you can toss your diploma into the flames? Just remember to bring marshmallows for the after-party!
