**Donald Trump Jr. Dismisses 2028 Run, Yet Leaves Door Open for Future Politics: “I’m Just Here for the Free Snacks”**
In a shocking twist that has left political analysts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists sharpening their tinfoil hats, Donald Trump Jr. has officially announced that he will not be running for president in 2028. However, he did leave the door wide open for future political endeavors, which has led many to wonder if he’s just waiting for the right moment to strike—or the right buffet to crash.
“I’m not running in 2028,” Trump Jr. declared at a recent press conference held in a local Chuck E. Cheese, where he was spotted munching on a slice of pepperoni pizza. “I mean, have you seen the competition? I can’t compete with a guy who has a pet rock named ‘Biden.’ Plus, I’m just here for the free snacks.”
Sources close to the Trump family say that Don Jr. is currently focused on his “very important” career as a social media influencer, where he specializes in posting pictures of himself holding fish he didn’t catch and promoting energy drinks that claim to be “100% not made from unicorn tears.”
“I’m not ruling out politics forever,” he added, while trying to balance a slice of pizza on his head. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to be president? It’s like being the king of a really big, dysfunctional family. And I’m already the king of my own Instagram account!”
Political pundit and self-proclaimed “Trump Whisperer,” Marge “The Oracle” McFluff, weighed in on the announcement. “This is classic Don Jr. He’s like a cat that keeps knocking things off the table but never really commits to jumping down. He’s just waiting for the right moment to pounce—or at least to find a better pizza joint.”
As the political world holds its breath, one thing is clear: whether he runs or not, Donald Trump Jr. will always be the life of the party—especially if there are free snacks involved.
