**Teen Admits Guilt in Theft and Extortion of Teacher and Student Data: “I Just Wanted to Be Popular!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the educational community reeling, 16-year-old high school junior Timmy “The Data Bandit” Thompson has confessed to stealing and extorting sensitive teacher and student data. The confession came during a heated game of “Truth or Dare” in the school cafeteria, where Timmy reportedly shouted, “I did it! I just wanted to be popular!” before being promptly ignored by his peers, who were too busy discussing the latest TikTok dance.
According to sources, Timmy hacked into the school’s database using nothing more than a borrowed laptop and a YouTube tutorial titled “Hacking for Dummies.” “I thought I could sell the data to the highest bidder,” Timmy explained, “but all I got was a bunch of angry teachers and a lifetime ban from the school’s vending machine.”
Principal Karen “No-Nonsense” Johnson expressed her disbelief, stating, “We always thought Timmy was just a kid who couldn’t even steal a pencil without getting caught. Turns out he’s a criminal mastermind! Who knew?”
In a bizarre twist, Timmy attempted to extort his own classmates by demanding they pay him in pizza slices for their own data. “I figured if I could get them to pay me in food, I’d finally be the coolest kid in school,” he said, while munching on a slice of pepperoni.
As the dust settles, Timmy faces a potential sentence of community service, which he plans to fulfill by starting a new YouTube channel titled “Hacking for Friends.” “I’ll teach kids how to hack their way into popularity, one slice of pizza at a time!” he declared, clearly unaware that he might just be the first person to get grounded for a YouTube career.
In the end, the school is left with a lesson: if you’re going to steal data, at least make sure it’s for something cool—like a TikTok dance challenge.
