**Stolen Jim Morrison Bust from Paris Grave Recovered After Decades: A Rock ‘n’ Roll Heist Gone Wrong**
In a plot twist that could only be described as “The Great Jim Morrison Bust Caper,” authorities have recovered the iconic bust of the Doors’ frontman from a secret lair in the basement of a Parisian café known for its “mystical” absinthe cocktails. The bust, which had been missing for over 30 years, was discovered after a tip-off from a local pigeon named Pierre, who reportedly overheard a group of hipsters discussing their “artistic” plans for the stolen relic.
Local police chief, Inspector Jacques “Not That Jacques” Dupont, stated, “We always suspected the bust was in the hands of someone with questionable taste. Turns out it was a group of wannabe rock stars who thought they could use it as a prop for their band’s next album cover, ‘Morrison’s Ghost: The Return of the Lizard King.’”
The bust was stolen in 1988 by a gang of rogue fans who believed it would grant them eternal rock stardom. “We thought it was like a magic lamp,” confessed former gang member and now self-proclaimed “Morrisonologist,” Larry “The Lizard” Lizardson. “We rubbed it every night, but all we got was a bad case of existential dread and a lot of bad poetry.”
The bust has since been returned to its rightful place at Père Lachaise Cemetery, where it will be guarded by a new state-of-the-art security system: a team of grumpy cats who have been trained to hiss at anyone who gets too close. “We’re calling it ‘Operation Feline Freedom,’” said cemetery director, Marie “Catnip” Dupree. “If Jim can’t have his bust, at least he can have some very angry cats.”
As for the thieves, they’ve been sentenced to community service, which includes cleaning up after the very same cats they tried to outsmart. “I guess you could say they’re now living in a ‘purrgatory,’” quipped Dupont, as he sipped his absinthe and pondered the next great rock ‘n’ roll heist.
