**Democrats Break Tradition: 2028 Presidential Contenders Boldly Announce White House Aspirations**
In a shocking twist that has left political analysts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists scrambling for their tinfoil hats, several Democratic contenders have boldly announced their intentions to run for president in 2028—an unprecedented move that has shattered the traditional “let’s wait until the last minute and then panic” approach.
Leading the charge is none other than Senator Chuck “I’m Not Just a Hat Rack” Schumer, who declared, “I’m running for president because I’ve always wanted to be the guy who gets to say, ‘I’m not a crook’ while holding a sandwich.” Schumer’s campaign slogan, “Make America Sandwich Again,” has already sparked a nationwide debate on the merits of rye versus whole wheat.
Not to be outdone, former Vice President Kamala Harris announced her candidacy with a heartfelt message: “I’m running because I believe in the power of dreams, and also because I lost a bet with my dog.” Harris’s campaign is reportedly centered around a platform of “free ice cream for all” and “mandatory nap time.”
Meanwhile, the lesser-known contender, Mayor Bob “I’m Just Here for the Snacks” Jenkins of Springfield, has taken a more unconventional approach. “I’m not just running for president; I’m running for the snack table at the next Democratic National Convention,” he quipped. “If I can’t have a cheese platter, what’s the point?”
Political pundits are already predicting a wild primary season, with one analyst stating, “This is like watching a game of musical chairs, but instead of chairs, it’s just a bunch of people trying to sit on a giant inflatable donut.”
As the 2028 election cycle heats up, one thing is clear: the Democrats are ready to break tradition, and they’re bringing the snacks. Stay tuned for more updates as this political circus unfolds—popcorn not included!
