**Sen. Blackburn Aims to Curb Birth Tourism and Citizenship Purchases in Line with Trump’s Immigration Policy**
In a bold move that has left many scratching their heads and others rolling on the floor, Senator Marsha Blackburn has announced her latest initiative to curb birth tourism and citizenship purchases. Inspired by the former President Donald Trump’s immigration policies, Blackburn is determined to ensure that only the most “American” babies are born on U.S. soil—preferably while wearing a tiny red, white, and blue onesie.
“Why should we let just anyone waltz in here, pop out a baby, and then expect that kid to grow up to be a future TikTok star?” Blackburn exclaimed at a press conference, flanked by a group of confused-looking toddlers. “We need to make sure that every baby born here is fluent in barbecue sauce and can recite the Pledge of Allegiance before they can even crawl!”
In a shocking twist, Blackburn proposed a new “Baby Visa” program, which would require parents to prove their worthiness by completing a series of rigorous tests, including a hot dog eating contest and a karaoke rendition of “God Bless the USA.” “If you can’t belt out Lee Greenwood while balancing a plate of ribs, do you really deserve to be a citizen?” she quipped.
Local resident and self-proclaimed “Baby Expert,” Chuck “Diaper” Johnson, weighed in on the matter. “I think it’s a great idea! If we’re going to have birth tourism, let’s at least make it a competition. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a baby race while holding a cheeseburger?”
As Blackburn’s proposal gains traction, critics are already lining up to voice their concerns. “This is ridiculous,” said local activist and part-time cat whisperer, Linda Furr. “What’s next? A citizenship test for puppies? I can’t even get my cat to sit on command!”
In the end, it seems that Sen. Blackburn’s plan may just be the beginning of a new era in American politics—one where babies are not only born but also auditioned for their citizenship. And who knows? Maybe one day, we’ll see a reality show called “America’s Next Top Citizen.” Stay tuned!
