**North Korean Defectors Demand UN Action: “Kim Jong-un Should Be Held Accountable for His Terrible Haircuts!”**
In a shocking turn of events, a group of North Korean defectors has called on the United Nations to hold Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un accountable for his numerous human rights violations. But it’s not just the human rights abuses that have them riled up; they’re also demanding justice for the atrocious haircuts that have plagued the nation for years.
“Listen, we’re not just talking about labor camps and censorship here,” said defected hair stylist and self-proclaimed ‘Mane Master’ Kim Hairy. “Have you seen Kim’s haircut? It’s a crime against humanity! I mean, who does that to their head? It looks like a raccoon had a bad day with a lawnmower!”
The defectors, who gathered in a secret location (rumored to be a trendy café in Seoul), presented their case to the UN with a PowerPoint presentation titled “Kim’s Cuts: A Hair-Raising Human Rights Violation.” The presentation featured side-by-side comparisons of Kim’s hair with various animals, including a poodle and a particularly disgruntled hedgehog.
“Every time I see his hair, I feel like I’m back in North Korea,” said defected citizen and amateur comedian Park Jokesun. “I mean, I’d rather be sent to a labor camp than have to look at that hairstyle every day! At least in the camp, I could wear a hat!”
The UN has yet to respond to the defectors’ demands, but sources say they are considering a resolution that would not only hold Kim accountable for his human rights violations but also mandate a national hair intervention program. “We’re thinking of sending in a team of top stylists,” said UN spokesperson Linda Locks. “If we can’t fix the human rights situation, at least we can fix that hair!”
As the world watches, one thing is clear: the fight for human rights in North Korea is about to get a whole lot more fabulous.
