**Jalen Hurts Clarifies His Absence from Eagles’ White House Visit: “I Was Busy Training My Pet Goldfish”**
In a shocking twist that has left fans and political analysts scratching their heads, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts has finally addressed his conspicuous absence from the team’s White House visit. The event, which was meant to celebrate the Eagles’ Super Bowl victory, turned into a national mystery worthy of a Dan Brown novel.
“I was busy training my pet goldfish, Flipper,” Hurts explained in a press conference that was attended by a suspiciously large number of local fish enthusiasts. “He’s been struggling with his backstroke, and I just couldn’t leave him hanging. I mean, have you ever seen a goldfish try to swim backward? It’s tragic.”
Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni, who was visibly confused, added, “We thought Jalen was just avoiding the President because he didn’t want to answer questions about his favorite sandwich. Turns out he was just trying to teach Flipper how to do a flip. Who knew?”
Meanwhile, team mascot Swoop took to Twitter to express his disappointment: “I thought we were all going to meet the President, not the fish whisperer! #FlipperForPresident.”
In a bizarre twist, Hurts also revealed that he had been working on a new training regimen for Flipper, which he dubbed “The Aquatic QB Drill.” “It involves a lot of swimming in circles and motivational speeches about the importance of teamwork,” he said, while Flipper swam in the background, seemingly unimpressed.
As the nation continues to ponder the implications of Hurts’ fishy excuse, one thing is clear: the Eagles’ next Super Bowl victory may just depend on Flipper’s ability to swim straight.
