**US Anticipates Putin’s Ceasefire Proposal Following Trump Call, According to Rubio: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Senator Marco Rubio announced that the U.S. is bracing for a ceasefire proposal from Vladimir Putin, following a recent phone call with former President Donald Trump. “It’s like waiting for a cat to bring you a dead mouse,” Rubio quipped. “You know it’s coming, but you’re not sure if you should be excited or horrified.”
Sources close to the situation, who wish to remain anonymous but are definitely not just Rubio’s pet goldfish, claim that Trump’s conversation with Putin was “like two old friends discussing their favorite flavors of ice cream—except one of them is a dictator and the other one is… well, also a dictator, but with a better hairdo.”
In a bizarre twist, Trump reportedly suggested that Putin should consider a ceasefire proposal that includes “free golf lessons” and “unlimited access to the Trump Tower buffet.” “I mean, who wouldn’t want to negotiate peace over a plate of shrimp cocktail?” Trump allegedly said, while practicing his swing in the Oval Office.
Meanwhile, Putin’s spokesperson, Dmitry “Not a Spy” Ivanov, stated, “We are considering the proposal. But only if it comes with a side of borscht and a complimentary T-shirt that says ‘I Survived the Trump Call.’”
As the world holds its breath, Rubio concluded, “If this works, I’ll personally nominate Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a participation trophy. Either way, it’s a win-win!”
Stay tuned for updates as we await Putin’s ceasefire proposal, which may or may not include a karaoke night featuring “I Will Survive” sung by Trump himself.
