**GOP Dissenters Remain Unmoved by Trump’s Capitol Hill Visit: “We Prefer Our Drama on Reality TV”**
In a shocking turn of events that surprised absolutely no one, GOP dissenters remained as unmoved by Donald Trump’s recent visit to Capitol Hill as a cat is by a laser pointer. The former president, sporting a new hairstyle that can only be described as “windblown raccoon,” attempted to charm his way back into the hearts of the party’s more skeptical members. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
“I thought he was going to bring snacks,” said Senator Mildred “Muffin” McFlufferson, who was seen clutching a box of donuts in anticipation. “But instead, he just brought his usual blend of chaos and confusion. I’m on a low-drama diet, thank you very much!”
Trump’s visit was reportedly filled with the usual bravado, including a speech that featured the phrase “tremendous” approximately 47 times. “I’ve heard more original content from my toaster,” quipped Senator Bob “The Unbothered” Johnson. “At this point, I’m just waiting for him to announce his new line of Trump-branded kitchen appliances.”
Meanwhile, dissenters like Senator Linda “Nope” Naysayer were busy planning their next book club meeting, aptly titled “How to Avoid Awkward Conversations with Former Presidents.” “We’re reading ‘The Art of Not Listening’ by Donald Trump,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s a bestseller in the ‘I’d Rather Watch Paint Dry’ genre.”
As Trump left Capitol Hill, he was overheard muttering, “I’ll be back, and next time, I’ll bring a piñata filled with tax cuts!” To which one dissenting senator replied, “Great, but can we make sure it’s not filled with more of your ideas?”
In the end, it seems the GOP dissenters are sticking to their guns—or at least their donuts—proving once again that when it comes to political drama, they prefer it scripted and on reality TV.
