**Southwest Airlines Mandates Keeping Chargers Out During Use to Address Battery Fire Risks: Passengers Left in Shock!**
In a groundbreaking move that has left the aviation world buzzing, Southwest Airlines has officially mandated that all passengers must keep their phone chargers out during flights to combat the ever-looming threat of battery fires. The decision comes after a series of “unfortunate incidents” involving passengers who dared to charge their devices mid-flight, leading to what one flight attendant described as “a scene straight out of a sci-fi movie.”
“Last week, I saw a guy trying to charge his phone while watching cat videos,” said flight attendant Linda “The Fire Extinguisher” Johnson. “The next thing I knew, his phone was glowing like a disco ball! I thought we were going to have to call the Ghostbusters.”
In a press conference that was more entertaining than informative, Southwest CEO Gary “The Charger Slayer” Kelly stated, “We want our passengers to feel safe. If that means they have to endure a two-hour flight without their precious TikTok, so be it! We’re not just an airline; we’re a battery safety organization!”
Passengers have reacted with mixed feelings. Frequent flyer and self-proclaimed “tech guru” Bob “I Can’t Live Without My Phone” Thompson expressed his dismay: “What am I supposed to do? Talk to my seatmate? I don’t even know their name! I’m not ready for that level of social interaction!”
Meanwhile, conspiracy theorist and part-time magician, Wanda “The Wandering Charger” McGee, believes the airline is hiding something. “I think they’re just trying to distract us from the fact that they’ve replaced our peanuts with kale chips. It’s all part of a bigger plot!”
As the new policy rolls out, Southwest Airlines is reportedly considering additional measures, such as mandatory “no phone zones” and a “silent disco” option where passengers can dance to their own music without disturbing others.
So, the next time you board a Southwest flight, remember: keep your charger out, your phone off, and your sense of humor on high alert. After all, nothing says “flying the friendly skies” like a little bit of battery-induced chaos!
