**Schumer Faces Backlash for Blaming Trump and DOGE in NYC Navy Crash: ‘He’s an Idiot’**
In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has found himself in hot water after attributing the recent Navy ship crash in New York City to none other than former President Donald Trump and the cryptocurrency DOGE. “I mean, who else could it be?” Schumer exclaimed during a press conference, flanked by a bewildered group of pigeons that seemed to be his only supporters. “Trump’s been crashing things since 2016, and DOGE? That dog has been barking up the wrong tree for years!”
The incident occurred when a Navy vessel, apparently trying to navigate the East River, mistook a hot dog stand for a docking station. Witnesses reported that the ship was “going full speed ahead” until it collided with a vendor named Frank “The Tank” Johnson, who was serving up his famous “Navy Dogs.” “I thought it was just a really aggressive delivery,” said one bystander, who was too busy filming the chaos for TikTok to care about the safety of the sailors.
Critics have been quick to pounce on Schumer’s comments. “Blaming Trump is like blaming a cat for knocking over a vase,” said local resident and self-proclaimed dogecoin millionaire, Larry “Crypto” McFurball. “It’s just not fair to the cat!”
Meanwhile, Trump responded via his favorite medium—Truth Social—stating, “Schumer is an idiot! If I were in charge, that ship would have been a yacht! And DOGE? It’s the best coin, folks. Just ask my dog, Barron!”
As the backlash continues, Schumer has doubled down, insisting that he will be launching an investigation into the “collusion” between Trump and DOGE. “We need to get to the bottom of this,” he declared, while accidentally stepping on a hot dog. “And I’m not just talking about the bun!”
In the end, the Navy has decided to stick to more traditional docking methods, while Schumer is reportedly considering a new career as a stand-up comedian. “I’ve always said politics is a joke,” he quipped, “but now I’m just trying to make it funny!”
