**Biden Visitor Logs Expose Democratic Involvement in Cognitive Decline Concealment**
In a shocking revelation that has left political analysts scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists dancing in the streets, the Biden administration’s visitor logs have allegedly exposed a clandestine operation to conceal cognitive decline among Democratic leaders. Sources close to the White House (and by “sources,” we mean a guy named Larry who sells hot dogs outside the Capitol) claim that the logs reveal a steady stream of visitors, including a team of cognitive coaches, a magician, and a guy who just really loves bingo.
“Every time I see Joe, I’m reminded of my grandma at Thanksgiving,” said Senator Chuck Schumer, who was spotted leaving the White House with a box of “Brain Boosters” and a suspiciously large collection of crossword puzzles. “We just want to keep things fun and light. Who doesn’t love a good game of ‘What Was I Talking About Again?’”
The logs also show frequent visits from Dr. Phil, who reportedly offered his services to help “navigate the murky waters of political discourse.” “I told them, ‘You can’t just say ‘Let’s go, Brandon’ and expect people to understand you,’” Dr. Phil was overheard saying while trying to explain the concept of irony to a confused aide.
Meanwhile, a mysterious figure known only as “The Cognitive Whisperer” has been seen entering and exiting the White House with a briefcase full of fidget spinners and a collection of motivational posters featuring cats. “I’m just here to help,” he said, while simultaneously forgetting what he was there for.
As the scandal unfolds, the Democratic Party is reportedly considering a new slogan: “Vote for Us—We Remember What We Promised… Most of the Time.” In a press conference, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre assured the public, “We’re on top of this. We have a plan. It’s just… um… what was the question again?”
In the end, it seems the only thing more entertaining than the visitor logs is the idea that cognitive decline can be solved with a little magic and a lot of bingo. So, grab your fidget spinners and prepare for the next round of “Who’s in Charge Here?”—it’s going to be a wild ride!
