In a shocking turn of events, hospitals in Trump Country are shuttering at an alarming rate, leading to a crisis that has top ER doc, Dr. Chuckles McLaughlin, warning of impending doom.
According to Dr. McLaughlin, the closures are leaving residents without access to critical care, leading to a potential health catastrophe. “It’s like a ticking time bomb,” Dr. McLaughlin said. “People are going to start dropping like flies if we don’t do something fast.”
Residents of Trump Country are feeling the effects of the hospital closures, with many expressing concern over where they will go in case of emergency. Local resident, Sally Sue Johnson, lamented, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have a heart attack or break a leg. It’s like we’re living in a third world country.”
In response to the crisis, President Trump tweeted, “Fake news! Hospitals are closing because they’re too busy treating all the fake illnesses the Democrats are spreading. Sad!”
Meanwhile, local politician, Mayor Bob McBoberson, is calling for action to address the crisis. “We need to come together as a community to find a solution,” Mayor McBoberson said. “Maybe we can start a GoFundMe to reopen the hospitals. Or better yet, let’s just build a wall around the hospitals to keep them safe.”
As the situation in Trump Country continues to escalate, Dr. McLaughlin is urging residents to stay vigilant. “We need to be prepared for the worst,” Dr. McLaughlin said. “And if all else fails, just remember to laugh it off. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.”
With hospitals closing left and right, Trump Country is in for a bumpy ride. Let’s hope they can find a cure for this crisis before it’s too late.
