In a shocking turn of events, Columbia University announced that student data has been stolen by a politically motivated hacker. The university, known for its prestigious reputation, is now facing a major data breach that has left students scratching their heads and wondering who would want to steal their information.
According to university officials, the hacker, who goes by the code name “Hackerman69,” managed to gain access to the university’s database and make off with sensitive information such as student names, addresses, and even their favorite dining hall meals.
“We are deeply concerned about this breach and are working tirelessly to secure our systems and protect our students’ data,” said Columbia’s spokesperson, Bob McSecure. “Rest assured, we will get to the bottom of this and ensure that our students’ information is safe and secure.”
However, not everyone is convinced that the university is taking this breach seriously. One student, who wished to remain anonymous, expressed their frustration with the situation.
“I can’t believe this happened. Now everyone knows that I eat pizza bagels for breakfast every day,” said the student. “I thought my dining hall choices were safe, but apparently not.”
In response to the breach, Hackerman69 released a statement taunting the university and challenging them to a game of virtual cat and mouse.
“I am the master hacker, the king of the cyber world. Columbia University is no match for my skills,” said Hackerman69. “If they want to catch me, they’ll have to work harder than they ever have before.”
As the university scrambles to beef up its cybersecurity measures, students are left wondering what other secrets may be revealed by the politically motivated hacker.
In the meantime, students are advised to change their passwords, keep an eye out for suspicious activity, and maybe reconsider their breakfast choices. After all, you never know who might be watching your dining hall habits.
