In a shocking turn of events, over 100 cats were found sweltering in a van in California, leading to the arrest of their owner on cruelty charges. The owner, who has been identified as Mary Johnson, claimed she was just trying to start her own cat circus, but authorities weren’t buying it.
“It was like a scene straight out of a feline fever dream,” said Deputy Bob Smith, who responded to the scene. “The van was packed to the brim with cats, all meowing and hissing like they were auditioning for a role in ‘Cats 2: The Revenge.'”
Upon further investigation, it was discovered that Johnson had been living in the van with the cats for over a month, subsisting solely on cans of tuna and catnip. When questioned about her living conditions, Johnson reportedly said, “I was just trying to live my best ‘cat lady’ life. Is that a crime?”
In a bizarre twist, one of the cats found in the van was actually a famous Instagram feline influencer named Whiskers McGee. When asked for a comment on the situation, Whiskers simply purred and licked his paw as if to say, “I’ve seen some crazy stuff in my nine lives, but this takes the catnip biscuit.”
Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, authorities are taking the case very seriously. “Animal cruelty is no laughing matter,” said Sheriff Tom Johnson (no relation to Mary Johnson). “We will do everything in our power to ensure that these cats are properly cared for and that justice is served.”
As for Mary Johnson, she is currently being held on bail and facing multiple charges of animal cruelty. When asked for a statement, she simply replied, “I guess my dreams of a cat circus will have to wait. Maybe I’ll try my hand at a dog rodeo next time.”
In the meantime, the cats have been taken to a local animal shelter where they are receiving the care and attention they deserve. Let this be a lesson to all aspiring cat circus owners out there – sometimes, it’s best to leave the clowning around to the professionals.
