In a heartwarming and slightly ridiculous turn of events, the Tunnel to Towers Foundation announced that they will be celebrating Independence Day by delivering 25 mortgage-free homes to heroes across the country. Yes, you read that right – 25 homes, completely free of charge, because apparently, just watching fireworks and eating hot dogs wasn’t patriotic enough anymore.
The foundation, known for their work in supporting first responders and military members, decided to up the ante this year by literally giving away houses like they were Oprah Winfrey. “You get a house! And you get a house! Everybody gets a house!” exclaimed Frank Towers, the CEO and founder of the organization (who may or may not have been slightly delirious from lack of sleep).
One of the lucky recipients of a mortgage-free home was none other than Captain America himself, or at least that’s what we’ll call him for legal reasons. “I couldn’t believe it when they told me I was getting a free house,” said the superhero (who may or may not have been a guy in a Captain America costume). “I guess all those years of fighting bad guys finally paid off!”
Not to be outdone, a group of local firefighters also received keys to their new digs. “It’s like winning the lottery, only better because now I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to sleep at night,” said Fire Chief Sparky McWaterhose (who may or may not have been a tad overdramatic).
But perhaps the most surprising recipient of a mortgage-free home was a certain infamous cat burglar who shall remain nameless (but rhymes with “Batwoman”). “I swear, I’ve turned over a new leaf,” she said, clutching her new set of keys. “Now I can focus on being a good citizen instead of, you know, stealing priceless jewels.”
So here’s to the Tunnel to Towers Foundation for proving that sometimes, miracles (and free houses) really do happen. And who knows, maybe next year they’ll be giving away yachts or private islands. One can only dream, right?
