In a shocking turn of events, MS-13 leader José “El Diablo” Ramirez is set to be sentenced in a racketeering case involving a whopping 8 murders. Talk about a killer resume!
It seems that El Diablo’s reign of terror has finally come to an end, as he faces the music for his heinous crimes. But don’t worry, folks, justice will be served with a side of salsa!
According to fake and totally made-up sources close to the case, El Diablo’s defense team is pulling out all the stops to try and save his skin. One of his lawyers, who shall remain nameless for legal reasons, was overheard saying, “My client is innocent! He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong weapon and the wrong gang members.”
But the prosecution isn’t buying it. Fake District Attorney Bob Smith declared, “El Diablo is a menace to society, a real thorn in our side. We’re going to throw the book at him, along with a few rotten tomatoes for good measure.”
In a strange twist, El Diablo himself had a few words to say about the whole ordeal. When asked for a comment, he simply shrugged and said, “Hey, at least I’ll get three square meals a day in prison. And who knows, maybe I’ll start a prison gang of my own. El Diablo’s Devils has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
As the courtroom drama unfolds, one thing is for certain: MS-13 won’t be the same without their fearless leader. But fear not, dear readers, for there are plenty of other aspiring gang leaders out there just waiting for their moment in the spotlight. Who knows, maybe the next big boss will be a clown named Bubbles or a grandma named Mildred. The possibilities are endless!
So stay tuned for more updates on this wild and wacky case, only here at the number one source of satire news on the web. And remember, crime doesn’t pay…unless you’re selling tickets to the courthouse!
