WASHINGTON D.C. – In a surprising turn of events, President Trump’s much-touted ‘big, beautiful bill’ has cleared its final hurdle before a House-wide vote. The bill, which promises to be the greatest piece of legislation ever seen, has been met with much skepticism and confusion from both Democrats and Republicans alike.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was quoted as saying, “I have no idea what is in this bill, but I can tell you one thing – it’s going to be tremendous. Just tremendous.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell also chimed in, saying, “I haven’t actually read the bill yet, but I’m sure it’s going to be fantastic. Really fantastic.”
The bill, which reportedly includes provisions for a giant wall around the entire country, free tacos for everyone on Tuesdays, and mandatory daily compliments for President Trump, has been the subject of much debate on Capitol Hill.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy stated, “I’m not sure how we’re going to pay for all of this, but I trust that President Trump has a plan. He’s a very stable genius, after all.”
In a press conference, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the bill, stating, “This bill is going to make America great again. It’s going to be the best bill ever. Believe me.”
Critics of the bill have raised concerns about its lack of details and feasibility, but President Trump remains confident in its success. In a tweet, he wrote, “My big, beautiful bill is going to be the best thing ever. Nobody does bills like me. Nobody. #MAGA #BigBeautifulBill”
As the bill heads to a House-wide vote, all eyes are on Washington to see if President Trump’s grand vision will come to fruition. Stay tuned to our satire news website for updates on this developing story.
