In a shocking turn of events, President Trump has announced that he is “working on” deportation exemptions for illegal farm and hospitality workers. Yes, you heard that right – the man who built his campaign on kicking out all the “bad hombres” is suddenly singing a different tune when it comes to the backbone of our economy.
In a press conference that left reporters scratching their heads, Trump explained his change of heart. “I’ve always had a soft spot for those hard-working farmers and hotel workers. They’re just so good at making my bed and picking my strawberries. I couldn’t bear to see them go.”
When pressed for details on how exactly he plans to exempt these workers from deportation, Trump simply winked and said, “I’ve got a big, beautiful plan in the works. It’s going to be the best plan you’ve ever seen. Believe me.”
Of course, not everyone is thrilled with Trump’s sudden compassion for undocumented workers. Immigration hardliner and noted xenophobe Stephen Miller was reportedly seen storming out of the Oval Office, muttering something about “the deep state” and “liberal tears.”
But for Maria Sanchez, a farm worker in California, Trump’s announcement is a welcome relief. “I can finally sleep at night knowing that I won’t be torn away from my family and livelihood,” she said with tears of joy streaming down her face. “Thank you, President Trump, for having a heart.”
Meanwhile, White House insiders have revealed that Trump’s newfound empathy for illegal workers may have something to do with his recent obsession with the hit TV show “Undercover Boss.” “He’s been binge-watching it for weeks,” said an anonymous source. “I think he sees himself as a sort of undercover hero, swooping in to save the day for these hard-working folks.”
Only time will tell what Trump’s “big, beautiful plan” entails, but one thing is for sure – the world of satire news just got a whole lot more interesting. Stay tuned for more updates on this bizarre turn of events, and remember to always take everything you read with a hefty dose of salt.
