In a surprising turn of events, Congress has announced that they will be concluding Trump’s signature bill in English. That’s right, folks, no more deciphering the cryptic messages and nonsensical ramblings that have become synonymous with the former president’s policies.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was quoted as saying, “We believe that the American people deserve to understand the laws that govern them. It’s time to put an end to the gibberish and confusion that has plagued our political discourse for far too long.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell added, “We can’t continue to operate in a world where ‘covfefe’ is considered an acceptable form of legislation. It’s time to bring some sanity back to Washington.”
Even Trump himself weighed in on the decision, tweeting, “I’ve always said that my bills are the best bills, the most tremendous bills. But if Congress wants to conclude them in English, that’s fine. I speak English, I speak it very well, the best English.”
Of course, not everyone is thrilled with the news. Kellyanne Conway, former counselor to the president, expressed her disappointment, stating, “This is just another example of the deep state trying to undermine President Trump’s legacy. I mean, who needs English when you have the best words?”
In response to the backlash, Congress released a statement saying, “We understand that some may find this change difficult, but we believe that it is in the best interest of the American people. From now on, all bills will be written in plain, straightforward English that even a fifth grader could understand.”
So there you have it, folks. Trump’s signature bill will now be concluded in English. Let’s hope this marks the beginning of a new era of clarity and coherence in our political system. Or as Trump would say, “It’s gonna be yuge, believe me.”
