Authorities at Rocky Mountain National Park are issuing dire warnings to visitors after a recent spate of multiple water rescues in the park. The incidents have left officials scratching their heads and wondering if some visitors have mistaken the park for a water park.
Park Ranger, Sarah McLaughlin, stated, “We’ve had several instances where visitors have attempted to float down the rushing rivers on inflatable unicorns and flamingo pool floats. This is not a lazy river ride at a water park, folks!”
One such incident involved a group of tourists who decided to go white-water rafting on a kiddie pool raft. The group, consisting of Jim Bob, Cletus, and Bubba, had to be rescued after their raft popped on a particularly sharp rock.
“We thought it would be a fun and relaxing way to see the park,” said Jim Bob. “But we didn’t realize those rapids were so intense! My flamingo float never stood a chance.”
In another incident, a family of four attempted to cross a raging river on a makeshift bridge made of pool noodles tied together with floss. The family, consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their two children, Timmy and Sally, had to be rescued by park rangers.
“We thought we were being resourceful,” said Mrs. Smith. “But it turns out pool noodles aren’t the best building material for a bridge. Who knew?”
Authorities are urging visitors to exercise caution and use common sense when exploring the park’s waterways.
“We want everyone to enjoy their time in Rocky Mountain National Park,” said Ranger McLaughlin. “But please, leave the pool floats and pool noodles at home. This is not a water park, people!”
In the meantime, park officials are considering implementing a “No Pool Floats Allowed” policy to prevent future water rescues. Let’s hope visitors get the message before the park becomes known as the “Rocky Mountain Water Park.”
