In a shocking turn of events, the Democratic party’s delay tactic has finally come to an end, allowing the long-awaited debate on President Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill’ to begin. The bill, which promises to be the greatest piece of legislation in the history of mankind, has been met with both excitement and skepticism from lawmakers on both sides of the aisle.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who has been leading the charge against the bill, finally relented after a month-long filibuster that included reading the entire Harry Potter series out loud on the House floor. When asked about her sudden change of heart, Pelosi responded with a sly grin, “I just wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to appreciate the literary genius of J.K. Rowling before we got down to business.”
On the other side of the aisle, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was quick to celebrate the end of the delay tactic. “I never thought I’d see the day when Nancy Pelosi would run out of steam,” McConnell said, chuckling to himself. “But hey, better late than never, am I right?”
As the debate on the ‘big, beautiful bill’ finally got underway, tensions were high as lawmakers from both parties traded barbs and witty comebacks. Republican Senator Ted Cruz, known for his sharp tongue and even sharper wit, quipped, “I haven’t seen this much drama since the last season of The Bachelor. And let me tell you, that was a doozy.”
Not to be outdone, Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren fired back, “If this bill is so ‘big and beautiful,’ then why does it smell like a pile of hot garbage? I think we all know who the real trash collector in Washington is.”
As the debate rages on, one thing is for certain: the ‘big, beautiful bill’ is shaping up to be the political showdown of the century. Will it live up to the hype, or will it go down in flames like so many bills before it? Only time will tell. But one thing is for sure – it’s going to be one heck of a ride.
