In a shocking turn of events, the ex-wife of alleged Gilgo Beach killer, John Smith, is still standing by his side and defending him, despite mounting evidence against him. However, her daughter, Sally Jones, has come forward to say that her father “most likely” committed the heinous crimes.
In an exclusive interview with Satirical News Network, Linda Smith, John’s ex-wife, exclaimed, “I know John better than anyone, and there’s no way he could have done something like this. He’s a loving father and a devoted husband. This is all just a big misunderstanding.”
When asked about the evidence linking John to the Gilgo Beach murders, Linda brushed it off, saying, “Oh, that’s just circumstantial. Anyone could have planted that DNA at the crime scene. You can’t believe everything you see on CSI, you know.”
Meanwhile, Sally Jones, John’s daughter, had a different perspective on the matter. “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him. He always had a weird obsession with shovels and buried treasure. Plus, he used to tell me bedtime stories about a serial killer who lived in our basement. It’s all starting to make sense now.”
In response to her daughter’s comments, Linda retorted, “Sally has always been a drama queen. She once accused the mailman of being a Russian spy because he wore a funny hat. You can’t trust a word that girl says.”
As the trial of John Smith looms closer, the community of Gilgo Beach is left in shock and disbelief. Some residents are even calling for a boycott of shovel sales in the area, fearing that it might be aiding and abetting a potential killer.
In the midst of this chaos, one thing is for certain – the Smith family drama is far from over. Will John be proven guilty? Will Linda continue to defend him to the bitter end? And most importantly, will Sally ever get over her fear of mailmen in funny hats? Only time will tell. Stay tuned to Satirical News Network for all the latest updates on this bizarre and twisted case.
